


The Parker Bunch

by 1Storywriter1



Series: Adventures of The Extended Parker Family [2]
Category: Scarlet Spider (Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome May Parker (Spider-Man), Ben Reilly is a Fanboy, Family fun, Gen, Kaine is a Badass, Marvel Cameos, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Spider-Man Interacting with New Yorkers, Spider-Man References, Superfamily (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21520126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Storywriter1/pseuds/1Storywriter1
Summary: The family adventures of Peter, Ben, Kaine and May: The Parker Bunch!!!(P.S. probably not chronological and  in a one shot style)
Relationships: Ben Reilly & Wade Wilson, Kaine (Spider-Man) & May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker & Ben Reilly
Series: Adventures of The Extended Parker Family [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1520390
Kudos: 5





	The Parker Bunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool comes to town.  
> Peter freaks, May is overjoyed, Kaine doesn't care and Ben finds a (maybe?) mentor.  
> Plus back story! That's always fun...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, new story!  
> The overall point is explained in the summary, but if it's not clear, this is gonna be a one shot series about the Parker family, along with the once in a while special guest.  
> And just an FYI, certain points in Deadpool's story close to the end will make a bit more sense if you've read my story 'Past Punishments'- the flashback parts at least.
> 
> Anyways, here's the first chapter. Hope you enjoy :)

"Peter, are you okay?"

Honestly? No! 

"Is this about the Wilson thing?"

Wha-Obviously! 

"I don't get it Peter. I thought you liked him?"

Peter sighed, picking himself off the rug on the floor, cracking his back once fully standing. "Honestly May, Deadpool is a 50/50 situation. He's either gonna be decent and tolerable to be around, or he's going to be the bane of everyone's existence."

May gave her nephew a funny look, then waved it off. "Wade is a nice man. Remember the Thanksgiving parade."

While she wasn't looking, Peter waved his arms menacingly at his aunt, immediately stopping when she turned around. "May, that's a horrible example, and the real reason Wade saved that turkey mascot was because Matt was there."

For some reason May became excited at the mention of Matt, excitedly looking at Peter. "Maybe you should call Matt then. You three used to have fun out on the street all the time."

Peter stopped himself from screaming out Holy nothing's because profanity scared him, instead annoyingly jumping onto the roof and letting out an exasperated groan. "Team Red is never ever coming back. And I still don't want Wade here. Why'd you invite Wade here?!"

"Because he's a good guy."

"He murders people!!!"

"Who does what?" Ben asked, walking into the room and temporarily stopping the argument. There was a very strong moment of silence where Peter and May had a staredown, leaving Ben even more confused.

"Hey bro, what's your opinion of Deadpool?"

Ben perked up at the name, a smile crossing his face. "DUDE! Deadpool? That guy is so cool!"

Peter submitted to his defeat, crawling over and dropping onto the couch, honestly feeling like crying was a good idea. Giving his two family members the stink eye, he turned to his brother. "It's your lucky day then. _May_ invited him over to stay during his murder session."

"You are _shitting_ me", Kaine cursed at the news. "That asswipe cost me a gang meet up a few weeks back."

"Dude", Ben whisper-yelled, "You've met Deadpool already?!"

Kaine crossed his arms, the red lenses of his mask slightly shifting. "Maybe. What's it to ya."

"Well I wanna be informed. Aunt May invited him over for a few days."

Kaine double over at that bombshell, Peter giving a sympathetic wince. "I feel the same bro. I feel the same."

"Why???" Kaine strangled out, throwing his hands in front of his face. Peter huffed, looking over the city from their skyscraper perch.

"Because I made the horrible mistake of introducing him to family back when we were on the same team."

"Avengers?" Ben asked.

Peter sadly sighed. "Worse. Team Red."

His brothers looked at him weirdly. Well, maybe. Masks hid emoting well. Good for them, that meant they didn't know about that train wreck. Peter gave it a few moments of thought if he should actually tell them, finally deciding he'd have to anyways.

"It was a thing between me, DP and Daredevil a few years back. Suffice to say, between me joining the Avengers and growing up, double D going back to a more lonesome act and Deadpool being Deadpool, we split up. And thank everything for that! Wade and DD were like an old, furious couple. They literally could not communicate without impalation or extreme acts of violence first. And Deadpool always had some stupid ass plan to do literally nothing. It was... bad."

"So you're team was f***ed and you all bailed. You cool with the Devil though?" Kaine asked, actually surprised about all this information. He'd known Pete had worked with basically everyone before, from Howard the Duck to Punisher, but a team with those two? Who would'a guessed?

"Eh. Me and double D are good. Still have an annual paintball comp with him and Nat."

Excuse me, what? That needed an explanation. But before that could, Pete was saved by a siren wailing out, getting the three Spider heroes into action.

"Hey party people!" Wade Wilson, Deadpool, happily called out as he entered the humble abode of three of four of the Parkers. Upon seeing the red and black merc with a mouth, Ben and May excitedly went over to greet him, Peter stepping out of the way as it all happened with a grumble and Kaine trying to bail through the back. He was stopped by an 'accidental' web from Peter.

"Sorry bro, but if I have to suffer through this, so do you", he not really apologised with a shrug. Kaine grumbled, giving his brother a look of death and rejoined them all.

"It's so good to see you Wade", May happily said, "It's been way too long."

"Ha! Too long. Well you could'a just payed me to off someone. Easy way to see ol' Wadey here", the merc said with an underlying sense of seriousness. Both he and the only female Parker laughed at that, Ben looking on the whole time in awe.

"My aunt is best bros with _the_ Deadpool. My life is so awesome", he quietly muttered to himself. Deadpool looked over at the youngest Parker, giving him a once over.

"Nice 'stume kid. You scab Petey's stuff to make it", he asked. Ben happily gasped, just then realising he never changed after their patrol. He went to answer, but was interrupted by Wade. "Wait, has Petey ever told you about how he got his signature suit? It was so funny! You see, me, Red and the junior over there were on this mission, and when he saw-"

"Wade no. You will never tell anyone that story. We made a blood oath", Peter seriously said, internally freaking out. Noone needed to know why he threw out his homemade suit. Quickly changing the conversation, Peter asked: "So Wade, what's in store for you on this twist 'round the block?"

"Well Petey", Deadpool started, "I got this dude I got to shake down for the X-Team- more one eyed Willie though, and then this other guy to explode with as many explosives as possible apparently, and finally, I'm just gonna have a friggin' holiday. See that May? No swearing. Seems you softened me back up in the day."

May grew an accomplished grin at that statement while everyone else processed all that.

"Who the hell is one eyed Willie?" Kaine asked out of the blue.

"Wade no", Peter warned just as the merc started pulling something out of one of his pockets. There was a definite scuffle after that...

It turned out, despite all of Peter's gripes and warnings, Deadpool was a pretty cool guy.

While the apparent X-Men member looked around with some binoculars from their perch, Ben slightly scooted closer. Peter had some personal stuff to do, and Kaine had said 'f*** that shit head Deadpool', so that had left the all too willing Ben Reilly-Parker to go out with the guy.

Not that he was complaining. Wade was a cool guy. So far he had learnt DP had worked with the X-Men, X- _Force,_ Avengers and a whole lot of government agents. If he'd done work for government, he couldn't be that bad right?

Finally realising the young Parker had moved, Wade looked over at him. "What's up Scarlet."

At the half mention of his made up name Ben mentally cheered, but quickly recovered to ask what was on his mind. "Uhm, I was just wondering what happened between you and Pete that made him... not really like you. Was it a Team Red thing?"

The usually motormouth assassin was quiet for a while after that, so Ben guessed he didn't want to answer. Finally though, "It depends who you ask kid. Pete would probably say both, the Devil would blame me, but I think it was a long time coming."

"How's that?" Ben asked, looking over the street. Even if they were having this talk, they were still on mission... kinda.

"Well Benny boy, I jumped into Spidey's life at an awkward time. Sure he had Red and your aunt, but that was basically it. Stark and the big boys and girls were still joking about 'Spider-PJ's', only a few cops took him seriously and I'm pretty sure he'd just got out of a relationship. Oh! And there was the whole 'Punisher was an obvious and good mentor' thing that had ended too. That guy just bailed."

Ben lowered his head at the mention of the Punisher. Pete had told the rest of his family about Frank and him after the guy died against Tombstone. Frank had never left in a way. He was gone sure, but the things he did with and taught Peter had made him who he was today. He decided not to spoil Wade's talk.

"So he had all that crap, and then I come in right. By some Holy intervention I took a liking to the kid, and he did to me. Maybe I reminded him of the Punisher? I dunno. Either way, we did a few jobs together here and there. Eventually he restarted his partnership with double D, and after a while, the three of us were joining forces. Team Red. It was honestly really good I'll admit. Softened me in a few annoying ways too."

Deadpool. Softened? Ben wasn't so sure about that. 

"But like they say", Deadpool continued, "All good things must come to an end. Me and Red were starting to butt heads more than we'd agree, and Pete was becoming more than a kid in pyjamas. He had the suit at this point, and the Avengers had taken an interest in this 'all new all different' Spider-Man. He'd also developed some... other things that weren't so great, but that not the point. You don't do what we do without it messing with your head sometimes. So yeah, he's maturing, me and Red are hating, the team was seriously fallin' apart. And then came time for it to actually _do_ that."

Wade sighed before he continued. "The youngin' had accepted the Avengers offer after a while, and like the idiot I am, instead of cheering him on, I decided to berate him for just leaving. Giving up the real stuff for glory. It wasn't true. Not with Pete. I'm kinda glad the kid reacted how he did though. Broke my jaw with a killer left hook. And then that was it. The end of out little team. He stayed good with Red though. Silver linings I guess."

Ben let that all sink in. Knowing how things had ended between those two, he was a little surprised his bro had moved on so well. Reluctantly tolerating someone was way better than punching them upon sight. It made sense why Pete didn't want to talk about the team as well. Bad times, bad blood, all that good stuff. 

Looking back up out to the city, Ben pulled his mask up just enough for his face to be seen. He gave Wade a sympathetic look, saying: "I think, Mr. Deadpool sir, if you told my bro this, he might loosen up a bit. Tolerate you at least."

The merc gave a huff of a chuckle as Ben pulled his mask back down. "Maybe... maybe." There was a comfortable quiet after that. Wade eventually broke it. "You know Benny, I think you should become a psychiatrist when you're a big boy."

The young Parker glared at the merc, getting a large laugh.

"Ben, what black magic did you put on Wade? He apologised to me. How?" Peter frantically asked a few days later. Ben looked up from the comic he was reading. "Dude, True Life Tales of Spider-Man is an unholy mess of my real life. It's way better than my situation."

Ben looked at his brother weirdly for a moment, but then answered. "We just shared some words is all."

Damn it. Ben had learned mystery sentences. He was hanging out with Deadpool. Despite that, Peter chuckled more to himself than anyone else. Even if their relationship was a disaster, Wade had still given some pretty important life lessons to him. He doubted it would be any different for Ben. "Okay man. But if you're gonna keep hanging out with DP, can you at least do me the favor of not messing up your head?"

It was an odd request, but Ben would comply. "O' course bro."

Peter gave a relieved nod, then started leaving the room. As he did that, Ben thought about things. How they'd play out. He had his brothers and May, and he's pretty sure the Avengers- Carol at least was on his side, and now Deadpool might be his mentor. His life was getting _very_ interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end, for now.  
> I hope this was enjoyable, and I'm not quite sure what's next. Like I said earlier, this isn't really on a set storyline or order, so if you have an idea for a chapter or something, just comment what it is. Not sure when the next chapter will be either. Just stay tuned I guess.
> 
> See ya :)
> 
> P.S. for anyone who cares, Captain Marvel #12, damn son! I mean it was the whole point of the story but still. Carol's packing serious firepower! I fear for the other Avengers.


End file.
